Firefly quotes

	Quotes
	Serenity Mal: We've done the impossible and that makes us mighty. Mal: I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month. Wash: Don't forget to call him 'sir'. He likes that. Mal: Who likes what? Zoe: It's nothing, Sir. Mal: If anyone gets nosy, just, you know, shoot 'em. Zoe: Shoot 'em? Mal: Politely. Wash: Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue? Zoe: She still has the advantage over us. Mal: Everyone always does. That's what makes us special Mal: We're still flying. Simon: That's not much. Mal: It's enough
	The Train Job Lund: Your coat's kind of a brownish color... Mal: It was on sale. Mal: This is why we lost, you know: superior numbers. Zoe: Thanks for the reenactment, sir. Mal: See, this is a sign of your tragic space dementia. All paranoid and crotchety, it breaks the heart. Mal: They tell you never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion hilarious. River: Mal. Bad. In the Latin. Mal: What about you? How come you're flying about with us brigands? Shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the Fuzzie-Wuzzies or some such? Book: Oh, I got heathens aplenty right here. Mal: If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't. Zoe: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing. Jayne: Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with till you understand who's in rutting command here.
	Bushwhacked Mal It's a real burden, being right so often. Mal: Looks like civilization's finally caught up with us. Mal: Well now, ain't this a whole lotta fuss. I didn't know better, might think we were dangerous. Kaylee: But, Cap'n! You hear what that purple belly called Serenity? Inara: Not in the least. It's a mutually beneficial business arrangement. I rent the shuttle from Captain Reynolds, which allows me to expand my client base, and the Captain finds that having a Companion on board opens certain doors that might otherwise be closed to him. Harken: And do you love him? Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war. Zoe: Fought with a lot of people in the war. Harken: And your husband? Zoe: Fight with him sometimes, too. Harken: Seems odd you'd name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of. Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
	Shindig Inara: I like watching the game. As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back. Zoe: Planet's coming up a might fast. Wash: Just means I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all. Mal: That happens, let me know Kaylee: Oh, look at the pretties! Wash: You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress? Jayne: I'll chip in. Zoe: I can hurt you. Mal: Now, we're favored guests, treated to the finest in beverages that make you blind. Kaylee: These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I, how 'bout that! Mal: Well, careful with it. We cheated Badger outta good money to buy that frippery. You're supposed to make me look respectable. Kaylee: Yes sir, Captain Tightpants. Mal: That's the buffet table. Kaylee: How can we be sure? You know, unless we question it? Jayne: Yeah. I wouldn't trade this for nothing, playing cards for a night off from septic flush duty. Mal: Fellow called Badger. Harrow: I know him. And I think he's a psychotic lowlife. Mal: And I think calling him that is an offense to the psychotic lowlife community. Inara: These people like me, and I like them. I like Atherton too, by the way. Mal: Well, sure, what's not to like? I'm liable to sleep with him myself. Kaylee: Up 'til the punching, it was a real nice party. Simon: The captain's a good fighter. He must know how to handle a sword. Zoe: I think he knows which end to hold. Mal: And I never back down from a fight. Inara: Yes you do! You do all the time! Mal: Yeah, okay. But I'm not backing down from this one. Jayne: We need a diversion. I say Zoe gets nekkid. Wash: Nope. Jayne: I could get nekkid. Simon/Zoe/Wash: No! Mal: See how I'm not punching him? I think I've grown. Jayne: We was just about to spring into action, Captain. A complicated escape and rescue op. Wash: I was gonna watch. It was very exciting.
	Safe River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky and they remember what they are. Mal: Is it bad that what she just said makes perfect sense to me? Simon:I'm not sure it's such a wise suggestion. Mal: Might not wanna mistake it for a suggestion. Kaylee: It looks like it was made with, you know... longing. Made by a person really longed to see a swan. Inara: Perhaps because they'd only heard of them by rough description. Mal: This is the last time. Last time with cows. I heard there was some idea regarding beagles. They got smallish droppings? Mal: It never goes smooth. How come it never goes smooth? Book: Afraid I might be needing a preacher. Mal: That's good. You just lie there and be ironical. Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time! What does that make us? Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir. Patron: The girl is a witch Mal: Yeah. But she's our witch. Simon: You came for us. Mal: You're on my crew. Simon: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back? Mal: You're on my crew. Why we still talking about this?
	Our Mrs. Reynolds Mal: How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people? Jayne: If I could make you prettier, I would. Mal: You're not the man I met a year ago. Mal: You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I am a mystery. Saffron: I am to cleave to you. Mal: To wabba hoo? Jayne: All I got was that dumb-ass stick that sounds like it's raining. How come you got a wife? Mal: How drunk was I last night? Jayne: I don't know. I passed out. Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Mal: Well, my days of taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. Mal: Whoa. Good bible. Wash: Whoa. Good myth. Mal: Is it Christmas? Jayne: You see, Vera? You dress yourself up, then you get taken out somewhere fun.
	Jaynestown Simon: Yes. I'm looking to buy some mud. Wash: What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise? Mal: You want to tell me how come there's a statue of you, here, starin' at me like I owe him something? Simon: This must be what going mad feels like. River: Noah's Ark is a problem. Book: Really. River: We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit five thousand species of mammal on the same boat. Wash: We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero. Simon: You know, I've saved lives. Dozens. Maybe hundreds. I re-attatched a girl's leg. Her whole leg. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, he gets a town. Kaylee: Hamsters is nice.
	Out of Gas Mal: Ship like this, be with ya 'til the day you die. Zoe: Yes Sir. Because it's a deathtrap. Mal: That's not... you are very much lacking in imagination. Zoe: I imagine that's so, sir. Mal: Getting a little weary of this attitude, Wash. Wash: Are you? Well I'm very sorry about that, sir. I guess the news that we're all gonna be purple and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me little snippy. Inara: The Alliance has no quarrel with me. In fact I supported Unification. Mal: Did ya? Well, I don't suppose you're the only whore that did. Inara: Mal, you don't have to die alone. Mal: Everybody dies alone. Mal: Which one you figure tracked us? Zoe: The ugly one, sir. Mal: Could you be more specific? Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low down dirty... deceiver! Mal: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe? Zoe: Had a kind poetry to it, sir. Marco: Jayne, this ain't funny. Jayne:Yeah, I ain't laughin'.
	Ariel Wash: Don't you just hate doctors? Simon: Hey! Wash: I mean, present company excluded. Jayne: Don't be excluding people, that's just rude. Wash: You know, it's very sweet -- stealing from the rich and selling to the poor. Mal: The patients were cynical and not-responding and we couldn't bring 'em back. Mal: Once, just once, I want things to go according to the gorram plan! Inara: What's going on here? Kaylee: Well, let's see. We killed Simon and River, stole a bunch of medicine, and now the captain and Zoe are off springing the others got snatched by the Feds. Mal: Next time you decide to stab me in the back... have the balls to do it to my face.
	War Stories Wash: Screw you! Mal: Get in line! Mal: And they say people don't look like their pets. Wash: I've been in a firefight. Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity. Mal: There's plenty of my orders she didn't obey. Wash: Name one. Mal: She married you! Zoe: Take me, Sir. Take me hard.
	Trash Saffron: You missed a spot. Mal: Can't miss a place you've never been. Mal: No one's killing any folk here today, on account of we got a really tight schedule, YoSafBridge. Saffron: He's my husband. Mal: Well, who in the damn galaxy ain't? River: Also, I can kill you with my brain. Inara: Should I start with the part where you're stranded in the middle of nowhere, or the part where you have no clothes?
	The Message Simon: This may come as a shock, but I'm actually not very good at talking to girls. Zoe: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to? Jayne: What'd you all order a dead guy for? Zoe: First rule of battle, little one. Don't ever let 'em know where you are. Mal: Whoo-hoo! I'm right here! I'm right here! You want some of me? Yeah, you do! Come on! Come on! Zoe: Of course, there are other schools of thought... Tracy: Zoe got married? Kaylee: Yeah. Tracy: Yeah, next you'll be telling me she smiles and has emotions. Tracy: When you can't run, you crawl ... and when you can't crawl, when you can't do that... Zoe: 'You find someone to carry you.'
	Heart of Gold Mal: "This distress call wouldn't be taking place in someone's pants, would it?" Jayne: "Good. 'Cause I don't know these folks, don't much care to." Mal: "They're whores." Jayne: "I'm in." Mal: This is my first mate, Zoe. I'll introduce you to the rest in a bit. They're good folk. Jayne: Can I start getting sexed already? Mal: Well, that one's kind of horrific. Mal: Well, lady I must say...you're my kinda stupid. Jayne: Whoa now, girl, that's just plain dirty. Mal: Jayne, you aware your radio's transmitting? Cause I ain't feeling particular girlish or dirty at the moment.
	Objects in Space Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the minute. What will she do next? Zoe: Either blow us up or rub soup in her hair. It's a toss-up. Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it. Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? Jayne: I don't like the idea of someone hearing what I'm thinking. Inara: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking. Simon: My sister's a ship. We had a fairly complicated childhood. River: I know you have questions. Mal: That's why I asked them. Mal: You know, you ain't quite right. River: It's a popular theory.